بدك ضلي

بدك فيكي تفلي.

أنا تعبت.

Making love

-So you’re not coming tomorrow?

-I don’t know, I’m not sure

-Because?

-I’m distracted by something else.

-You mean someone else.

-What ever

-I wish I can end that some one….. You said you want to learn.

-I don’t want you to teach me.

-Come, no one will be home… Bring that same Smirnoff and come

-…

-I’ll get to show you everything.

-I don’t want to see much, what I want to see is not in your place.

-Don’t be silly and poetic, we’ll simply make love.

-…..

-….

-I might come

-Great!

-No wait, I have a request

-Anything!

-I want to take pictures

-Of what?!

-Of you, of the curve.

-…..

-Did this offend you? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to.. It’s just…..

-You’re not going to make love to me?

-doch, I will…. I will take pictures… I can’t make love,I can make a design or a photos.

اتفضل احكي

 

مسرحية اتفضل احكي على مسرح كلية الفنون.. و من المثير للسخرية أنو انا و أم السوس و أبو الرز طلعنا بعدا ع تياترو.. انا و الفنون الجميلية.. ساشا و تياترو.. ملعوبة من الله.

- وين تعرفت عليي؟

- ع الشط

- طب عظيم.. شو كنت لابسة؟

- أواعي و تياب!

- لاء! كنت لابسة البكيني! و كانو كل الناس عالشط! و كان كلو شايفني! ليش هلأ ما عاد يصير ألبس اللي بدي يا! ليش هلأ إزا بيينو رجليي الناس بيحكو عليك؟ و ليش هلأ إزا بيين صدري الناس بتجيب معدلك؟ و ليش إزا بيين ضهري بتنقص كرامتك؟! و ليش إزا بيينت قفايي بينضرب شرفك؟؟

لك بس بدي أفهم! شو دخل شرفك بقفايي؟!!

 

 

مشروعك معي

عالأكيد… مش أكيد

You and Me

You(1): we met three years ago, you knew about me before you met me, and it was easy for a relation to start when I came.. and so it started. It started fast, and it ended fast few months later. Maybe it was your hair, but most probably, it was how you kept showing me your feelings all the time, and how I enjoyed it.. I’m sorry I left you this way, I’m sorry for being such a bad liar.

 

You’re a nice piece of body.

 

Why did you come back yesterday?

 

 

 

You(2): we also met three years ago, there in the same place.. Meeting you showed me how small this life can be. You were there as a Dark Ray, and I  refused this and called you Ray, Dusk Ray.

 

For the later years, and although we also met in college, I never had the courage to tell you that I actually do feel for you.. It was your skin, and the tone of your voice when you tell me that you care for me.

 

Only few weeks ago, we came up again, and I told you what I never did, and for no surprise at all, you told me the same. We decided to start something non formal, for you’re leaving in February, leaving once and for all.

 

You kept tempting me, and you know it works, and I know that I have to stand strong against all temptations, because another you is there.

 

You’re a sweet child.

 

Where are we heading next, and why don’t you control the feelings!

 

 

 

You(3): me and you met five years ago, I told you about my self the moment we met, and you didn’t  have any problem being around some one so different like me. We loved each other, and I can say we still do up to this day. I can never forget the times you stood by me, even when you knew that there was another You in my life.. Sometimes I see us together in a future, watching you working all day long like this, and being the successful person you are, makes me sure that you care the one, the father of the children I want one day. Why? Because you were always, always there, even when you knew that I felt for some one else, you demanded to stay there and watch me at a distance. And, now while you’re fighting for our future, and I am fighting for my future with some one else, you still say you love me. I never met anyone with such a big heart, and never had anyone forgiving all me SINS the way you do.

 

You’re a priest.

 

Do you think it will work?

 

 

 

You(4): It was last March, outside my country and outside yours. If I want to think about it deeper, it was also outside my world.

 

I don’t know what it was, you were sitting behind me when everyone was singing, I could hear your voice among all as if it was only you and me there. Our meeting was only lasting for a week, and till the 5^th day, I didn’t have any courage to come closer and say everything.. Say what exactly? That you took my mind away since I met you! For a sane person, it would make no sense, so I thought, I should be insane to say it, and I waited for that night.

 

Things led to that night anyway, and I found my self there after having drank till I forgot reality, and I found my self near you, saying it all. The next day, having been sober, I didn’t have ability to look in your eyes.

 

I don’t know how things evolved since then, I don’t know why you became so much more than what I expected any one to be.

 

What gathers us now, is no more than few moments in virtual world, and “few dreams we may never realize”.. What separates us is much stronger, it’s pain and distance and the different worlds we’re living in, your You, and my You.

 

I am now on my way for a small dream to come true, February…. I wonder if I can staii handle the pressure here till then. I just wonder if I can survive it, but most of all, I wonder if “we” can survive it.

 

You are all of them.

 

Do you feel the same?

I am a dictator.

It’s late.. I just came back home after a long gray day at work.. I don’t want to imagine anything, nor think of anything, nor actually do anything, so I decided to enjoy some wasting-time machine, namely, TV.

 

It was one of the old movies I watched before on other channels and never had the patience to finish.. However, today, I had the time to, and a simple sentence attracted me, said by one of the characters.

 

The character is basically a loner, who prefers pages filled with words rather than people filled with emptiness, and who-therefore, appears to be highly and deeply educated. Another side of his personality shows up to be clam and peaceful, yet turns out in the end of the movie into a monstrous murderer.

 

Anyhow, during his calm status he goes into a discussion about freedom, where he says:

 

“Freedom brings murder, because freedom is pretty much self centered and selfish, individualistic and doesn’t have much to do with the best of the group, but rather with the best of the individual, therefore, Freedom does bring murder”

 

His friends start to simply refer to him as a dictator…

 

…. I just wonder if one day I will end up as a murderer.  

Why ya rabbi!!?

That’s just great.. Israelis had created a group to reopen Facebook in Syria! Was this a way to show Syrian youth how Israelis are “feeling sorry” for them, how pathetic Syrian youth are!?

 

On the other hand, The Syrian Network has been spammed recently by some spammers apparently living abroad, insulting the regime and the person of the Syrian president (explains the blocking). One of those spammers was a person under the name of Manuell Samuell, with an Israeli flag as his profile photo. Samuell of course is not Israeli, but a Syrian who hates Syria to the extent of raising the Israeli flag as his identity and then directly insult the regime

It’s important to note here, that in Syria, unlike other countries, insulting the president is more taken as an insult to the nation and the country, regardless of my own opinion of the person of the president, I understand the public reaction towards such insults..

 

I personally don’t care about what person has to say about the regime, I have my own opinion about it as well, however, and as a Syrian concerned about Syria, I find it terribly insulting to have the country and it’s president insulted this way in a public wall, specially the Syrian network wall.

 

Most probably and in my opinion, those spammers belong to the so-called opposition in London and Paris lead by Khaddam and Bayanouni, One corrupt leader, and one extremist. The reason I concluded that was the simply fact that I had been receiving for the last few months now regular “Newsletters” from this side of the world calling for a new Syria and for the downfall of the current regime and explaining what happened in their meetings abroad.

 

Aside from my own reaction towards opposing a certain regime from outside the community, I would like to clear out that Abdelhalim Khaddam was the Syrian vice president and had been for the last decade a symbol of corruption in Syria, while Bayanouni is the leader of the Syrian Muslim Brotherhood, which in my very own personal opinion, and having lost an uncle by them, I would say easily that they are one extremist side that should not be raised again in this country if we ever planned for Syria to be secular.

 

However now, and what hurts me the most, is that the authorities here has blocked the site and we as Syrians who would have a say about all of this spamming, will not have a chance to do so, and moreover, we will receive invitations to join a group of reopening facebook in Syria, basically created by Israelis.

 

 

P.S: Please try to check the Syrian Network, I would have linked it for you, but it just won’t work from here.  

 

 

 

And I got a strong urge to fly…

But I got… Nowhere to fly to

PF

الوطن؟

المعمرين في الوطن يدعون كل يوم.. و كل يوم تولد تلك الدعوة ذاتها.. “لو أن عباب البحر يمخر بالمهجرين الذين أبعدهم إلى شواطئ أرض الله.. لو أن هذا العباب يمخر بهم عائدين من جديد.. ولو أن تلك البواخر التي فتكت بنصفنا تحمل بالباقين في الشتات من جديد.. يا اللاح (يا الله بلغتنا)… لا تمتنا قبل أن تشهدهم عيوننا الذابلة عائدين إلينا”..

رغم أنو كبرت عقصص الكبار و الوطن البعيد.. بس هالجملة فعلاً أثرت فيني بشكل ما طبيعي..

مصيري و مصيرنا كان أنو كون سليلة الأجداد اللي تركوا أرضون “لأجل الله” و الدين.. شوية أمراء (أجدادي منون) قرروا مصير شعب كامل.. و هاجرو.. اللي مات بالبحر.. واللي مات بأرض الله من الفقر.. و توزعنا نحنا عباد الله المخلصين بأرجاء الدولة العثمانية الشريفة.. شبابنا يدافعو عن ترابا.. و بناتنا………. و السلاطين… يعني بصراحة أجداد ما بيستاهلو إلا الرحمة.. و تفو!

أكتر من عشرين سنة و أنا عم أسمع بـ “أبخازيا”… حتى صارت أبخازيا بالآخر كلمات و شوية روايات و بطولات.. كتار حكوا عن العودة.. بس العودة لوين؟؟ نحنا أوطاننا صارت أوطان الشتات اللي حافظت علينا.. لو تركناها لين بدنا نرجع؟؟ و يا ترى لو رجعنا هل منكون عم ندعي أنو انتمائنا لأبخازيا؟؟ طب انتمائنا لأوطان المهجر شو؟ حياتنا بأوطان الشتات شو بيصير فيها؟؟ و كيف بدنا نبلش حياتنا بأبخازيا تحت القصف و النار ببلد مهمش؟؟ من وين بدنا نبلش!

 ليش ما كنا أوروبيين؟؟؟ ليش ما كنا أوروبيين ؟؟؟ ليش ما كنا أوروبيين ؟؟؟؟

على الأقل… كان ما فتحنا عينا و نحنا لسا عم نحلم بالعودة للقفقاس و أبخازيا……

على الأقل كنا ما ولدنا و رضعنا القضية الفلسطينية.. لكبرنا.. وكبرت القضية الفلسطينية معنا…..

على الأقل.. كان الجموع منا اللي تمركزت بالجولان بعد ما هاجلات القفقاس  ما اضطرت تهاجر مرة تانية…

على الأقل.. كانت الأجيال اللي أجت بعد النكسة ما حملت هم النكسة..

على الاقل.. ما كنا بكينا دم و دموع مشان العراق و نحنا عم نشوفو رايح قدامنا…

على الأقل.. ما كنا صفننا كل ما مرت كلمة وطن..

على الأقل كان بالي فاضي  من كتير شغلات معبيتو….

 

ما علينا.. السبب اللي كتبت كل هاد مشانو هو جملة أنا حكيتا لما كانو “ضيوف من الوطن” هون.. كانو عم يعملو مقابلة مع الأباظات اللي هون.. والؤال الأساسي كان أنو “شو نظرتكون لأبخازيا..

كان ببساطة جوابي هو أنو أبخازيا وطني متل ما هون وطني.. هي الحلم اللي لسا ما شفنا.

بعد ما خلصنا من هالعجقة كلا.. سألت حالي.. أنو كنت عم أحكي جد؟؟؟ و يا ترى الكبارية اللي بالطن.. رح يعيشو ليشوفونا راجعين بالبواخر اللى أخدت جدودنا؟

 

بغض النظر…تصبحون على وطن.

 

بلا ولا شي

بحبك